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The memories

I remember it used to take me hours to go through the back log of posts to catch up. Now, it takes me moments. It's kind of sad. But, on the bright side, I rarely miss a post :-)

Never say never

On Thursday July 4th, a pretty amazing thing happened. While aboard the Celebrity Millennium, on the last day of sail, among several friends (all of the group on the trip) linnaeus proposed. Without hesitation I said yes. I'm still in a bit of shock. I didn't cry like I had expected I would should it happen, my heart was too busy pounding and I hardly remember what else he said. I'm hoping my memory will produce that information. I doubt it though.

The Ring

Two days

And a LOT of emotions. Also, I had six months, what the hell happened???


Fall - The Season and not the act

Fall has always been my 'Spring'. While most people view the Spring as the time of year for blossoming and new beginnings, I see Fall as such. Most of the major changes in my life have happened in Fall and or Winter. I was engaged and then married in the Fall, I decided to make the move in when Ohana was created in the Fall, and I honestly feel weird in the school year if I don't start during the Fall Semester.

And next weekend I add to my Fall events, I'll be making another big move. This time into the grand city of Chicago. Every move I have made since I was a small child had a fair significance. From the first apartment my mom and I had on our own, to my first apartment, to my first apartment with my exhusband, to the first place without my exhusband (later to be named Ohana), and this time to take the next big step with Paul.

Neither of us know how this will go, but we'd be dumb not to try. There is honestly a lot of certainity in this move. I'm more sure than I've been in any of my adult moves. I'm also the most nervous I've ever been.

Well, here's hoping we don't bomb. Cause hopefully Ohana has a replacement for me.

Still miss you

I'm glad I avoided LJ this weekend.

I knew the date and chose to ignore it. He wouldn't have wanted me to dwell. However, three years later and I'm still not ok.

Still missing you my deranged little brother.

Boys, girls or what?

I’m thinking over a conversation a friend and I are having in Twitter about underwear, panties specifically. The comment was made to me that at least I’m the ‘correct’ gender for my obsessive collection of panties. I realized I don’t subscribe to that notion. Girls can wear boys clothes with little question made of them, however a boy wears girls clothes of any fashion and it’s ‘weird’ or different. I have so many friends who are gender correcting or gender fluid that I have a hard time considering there being a correct gender for panties.
Then it got me thinking of kids and specifically tomboys. I am a tomboy. I never ‘grew out of it’ like so many girls are expected to. So, do tomboys grow out of it because they want to or because society, and possibly their parents, are forcing them to. My personal opinion? I think it’s the expected gender roles defined by our society that expect girls to grow out of being tomboys, that call non masculine boys sissies and adults fags and dykes for not dressing, or acting, how we are expected to.
I am a girl. It is something I have never questioned. I am a girl who society thinks dresses like a boy, because I wear comfortable jeans and casual t-shirts and I’m more likely to be in my Vibrams or Converse than heels. I am also a tomboy who wears frilly panties and lacy bras. So, then what do you call me? I call me, me.
This amused me some. Plus, I was bored during lunch..

A - AVAILABLE: Technically, yes. My relationship with my girlfriend is open, I am male biased and not her primary.

B - BIRTHDAY: December 14, 1976

C - CRUSHING ON: Honestly, I have about 5 crushes right now. Some know who they are, others don't.

D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Today? coffee and water, my daily drinks of choice. Booze wise was Slurm.

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: This is a complicated question. Easy answers, Devin and Vidar.

F - FAVORITE SONG: Hmm, not a fair question either. Picking one song? Today, Big Easy by Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers. Tomorrow, it could be anything.

G - GUMMY: Worms? The bitter ones. Just like me.

H - HOMETOWN: North Chicago, IL

I - IN LOVE WITH: My girlfriend and now look at me ignore this question...

J - JUGGLE: My boobs.

K - KILLED SOMEONE: Tempted more then once.

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Mmmm, well, the longest time and honest miles would have to be Chicago, IL to Pittsburgh, PA and then to Philly in the same ride.

M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Strawberry or Blueberry.


O - ONE WISH: Happiness for my friends and if there is any left over some for myself.

P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: That I called? None work related.... people call? I thought that's what text and AIM were for. *checks call log* My mom.

Q- QUOTE: "The things in life you regret the most, are the things you DIDN'T do"-Me (it could have been quoted by someone famous but I've never heard it)

R- REASON TO SMILE: My friends and honestly my life on most days.

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Funny enough Big Easy - Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 5:29am

U- UMBRELLA: Huge black company gift.

V - VEGETABLE(S): Yes. No peas or raw veggies, all others welcome.

W - WORST HABIT: That's debatable. Smoking certainly. Talking too much. Staying up too late on work nights.

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Teeth, Lungs, Ankle, Knee. I'm sure others that I can't remember.

Y – YOYOS ARE: I can't do anything with them, but I'll play with one if you put it in my hand. But that could be said of a lot of things...

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Sagittarius Dragon

One year ago today

Marks the passing, or rather stealing, of a dear friend Patrick 'Furp" Reed.

I still have a giant hole in my heart for a friend that has pretty much always been there, in one form or another. And time may make it hurt less, but I doubt that will ever go away. 12 years of friendship and memories ended with one persons senseless act.

I miss you buddy, I'm sure you'll have some great stories for me when we meet again.

Something is wrong with me

I've been up since 6:30. Showered and dressed since 7:00. Laundry and dishes are caught up, garbage and recycling cleared, and I have a floor in my bedroom and it's mostly clean! Shortly I'll be off to the store for some last ingredients I need for the cookies for the cookie exchange at work tomorrow. Then makes some ice cream cone cup cakes for my coworkers (I'm sure any spares will be taken good care of by my roommates), then put up the Christmas tree and lights, make dinner, make my bed AND put away all the laundry I did.

I again say, I think something's wrong with me. Or right maybe, this is the first time in months I've actually truly done anything other then be a lump.

Cleaning my life

I have decided I NEED to get through my storage unit soon to stop wasting money on stuff I mostly care little about. I'm hoping on the first pass will clear 80% of the stuff, sending it to goodwill or the trash. I'm sure I'll make another go after that and clear more stuff. Still need to go through the attic stuff in Posi's apartment too. Bleah, giving up the life of a pack rat is a lot of work.